plural noun: boundaries
1. a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries… A very important key to living a peaceful and happy life.
Before I even knew what boundaries were – up until a year ago, really – guilt stood in the way of me honoring my own path and my own voice. Guilt murdered my happiness. Having the disease to please didn’t help either. I never wanted anyone to feel like I didn’t do as much for them as I would for any one else… Until one day I realized I was stressing my self out and getting my self emotional for people or things that didn’t contribute to my peace or happiness at all… Now people pleasing and guilt go hand-in-hand. It took me some time to really understand this, get the ball rolling, and start implementing boundaries in my life. Guilt prevented me from having a voice and from having limits.
So how do you overcome the guilt and fear of setting boundaries?
- Understand that every time you argue with reality and you silence your own intuition, you not only deny the beauty, truth and value of who you truly are, but you put yourself on mute, just so you can preserve the egos of others.
- Consistency is the murderer of guilt. Be consistent and stand your ground by staying on the white horse – put yourself first always!
- Accept that you will feel guilty at first for implementing boundaries and making yourself, your happiness, and your peace a priority. The only way that you can overcome the guilt is by facing it head on.
- Show people that you’re taking care of your needs (that may mean just taking some steps back from them).
- Own the fact that if you keep putting yourself on mute, you will always be at the mercy of other people’s opinions of you.
Stop feeling guilty for being you and putting you, your peace and your happiness first. Start being one of those badass, amazing girls that unapologetically and kindly ALWAYS looks out for and loves herself first.
If I can do it, I know you can. I believe in you.